Day 108:

I've been struggling to find the right words the past few days but here it goes...

These past few months since that terrible night when Maddox went missing have been EXTREMELY difficult & each day that goes by that I still can not find my baby my Heart breaks more and more and more... =""((( I have to find my sweet baby boy!!! I miss him SO MUCH!!!

I wanted you all to know that even though past few weeks I have been somewhat silent, it is not because I stopped looking or gave up.. I assure you all I will NEVER EVER EVER give up on him EVER!! He is my CHILD, my HEART, my SOUL, my EVERYTHING!! I will do whatever it takes to find him & BRING HIM HOME!

Unfortunately due to circumstances out of my control I had to come back to Cali to return to work so I can continue to pay to search for my sweet baby boy... It has been extremely difficult & one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my entire life..I literally almost could not board that plane & was shaking & felt sick! After we boarded.. I was sitting there and wanted to run as fast as I could off that thing!! =''((

It is killing me being so far away and I have only been here a few days now.. The only thing that gives me some peace of mind is I have a bunch of AMAZING volunteers & new friends in OKC that have all ASSURED me they will never stop looking for my baby and will be relentless!!!

We all met before I left and have a small team dedicated to doing everything I can't do since I'm not there physically... They are my eyes, ears, hands & feet in OKC & will check sightings, post flyers, check shelters, check cameras & feeding stations, etc, etc.. I will obviously continue doing everything I possibly can from here & am already trying to figure ut when I will be back there hopefully to pick up my baby boy... I will continue to be the voice behind Maddox's page, I will continue to track sightings, I will continue to manage where feeding stations are, I will continue to probably be blocked from FB for sharing too much, I will be a fax machine faxing flyers everywhere.. So basically I will be involved in everything still & those not in OKC you won't even tell a difference (except maybe more tearful posts). I am in touch with the local team Maddox daily & we have lots of plans in motion already.. We even have a new Maddox hotline for sighting calls only (405)-28FOUND / (405)283-6863 and just mailed out a bunch of postcards!

Brandon & I are truly so grateful to have so many amazing people in our lives that are all so dedicated to helping us find our baby boy!! We love & miss him SO much!! Being home without him is even more difficult than I anticipated & I literally can't stop crying like a baby!! =''((( Every little thing reminds me of him.. From his millions of toys, to the stool we got for him and he looks out the window and watches the neighborhood, to no squeaky balls going non-stop, to just sitting on couch & not having him by my side & have even been avoiding neighbors just so I don't have to talk to them because I know they will ask where is your baby.. I saw Maddox’s best friends (two neighborhood poodles) and had a melt-down this morning.. Every little thing reminds me of him & it hurts so bad to be here without him.. =’’(((

Maddox has been by my side every single day for 7 years and I can't even explain in words how much I love that little guy! I am that crazy mommy that has millions of pictures & I am sure my friends are like ‘does she ever not talk about Maddox?’ I admit I am crazy in love with that little guy!! I hate that I cant protect him right now & hate he is out there all alone! I'm so lost & hate being here without my baby boy!

As a team Maddox member stated “the donation of time...love...prayer...deed...hope...all of these "donations" are the common thread that keeps us all looking each day behind, under and over everything looking for Maddox. that little guy is peeing on someone's mailbox...we just got to find which one...”

Please please keep praying for my baby boy!! I know he is okay & out there somewhere!!! We LOVE you MADDOX!!! Please Please come out wherever you are!!

Wow loss of words turned into a novel.. =''(((

www.bringmaddoxhome.com