Friday, November 22, 2013



Pics: www.bringmaddoxhome.com/Photos.html
Vids: www.bringmaddoxhome.com/Videos.html

Lost on Christmas Eve, Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc was tracked numerous times from Oklahoma City to Edmond and back. Recently, Karin TarQwyn and her team returned. Near the last sighting of June 10th, it was found sometime afterward, he took up residence under a bushy area and his scent was tracked into someone’s backyard and backdoor. Because of facts gathered, it's believed, he was rehomed, quite possibly in a rescue or maybe to an individual. We have no idea where he is at this point. If you have acquired a male Min Pin, please have him scanned for a chip. Please look at the pictures & videos on his website from the links above. (More info in original post. See link at the bottom of this post)

Let me answer a couple of questions I’ve received. “Wouldn’t a rescue scan a dog turned in to them?” I can’t answer for every rescue, but the answer is “Not all.” Some dogs are turned in ‘owner surrender’ and aren’t necessarily checked. If a dog is surrendered to a shelter by “owner” they're not always checked. And of course, if Maddox was given to someone who thought they were getting him from the owner, they’d have no reason to check.

“Have you talked to the person at the house? What did they say? What is being done?” The answers: “Yes” “This is one of those things I can’t answer.” “Everything possible.” Please know, this issue is being investigated thoroughly. We have strong reason to believe what we do and at this point Maddox is no longer at the residence and could be anywhere and with someone who likely does not know he has a family desperately trying to find him, so awareness is the key.

www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=325405664264025&set=a.192616980876228.47836.190920517712541&type=1&theater

And a quick shout out to The Dogington Post and I love Dachshunds for sharing Maddox.

Maddox needs some serious media attention!!
TEAM MADDOX, WE CAN DO THIS!!!!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013


 
 
Pics: www.bringmaddoxhome.com/Photos.html
Vids: www.bringmaddoxhome.com/Videos.html

I need to ask everyone to take a deep breath as I have some very shocking news…

Please understand I am trying to give you as much info as I possibly can but I cannot say everything we know right now... I promise to share more when I can but this is all I can share at this time...

A few weeks ago, 3 amazing & very generous Team Maddox members paid out of their own pockets for Karin & her team of dogs (Cade, Ike & Drew) to come back to Oklahoma City/Edmond area to figure out where we lost Maddox. I had no idea this happened until a few days ago. I can’t even express in words how much I appreciate what these amazing ladies & friends have done for me & Maddox! They are so kind, loving & generous & I am honored to have them in my life... God truly sent me some angels!! I can’t give names but you ladies know who you are! Love you to the moon and back!

Based on tips we received: All 3 tracking dogs alerted Maddox’s scent was under a bush which is where he was probably sleeping. Then all 3 dogs took the same route to a gate and confirmed Maddox’s scent ended at a residence. All 3 dogs confirmed there was no trail away from the area & he did not walk away on his own. Cade even tracked Maddox to the back door and put his paw on the door saying Maddox’s scent went into the house!!! Those of you on this journey with me from the beginning will remember how AMAZING Cade is considering he tracked Maddox to the parking spot we parked in at Petco the day he went missing. =’’’((( Cade is truly talented & such a special furbaby!

We have reason to believe from there someone took him in and then he was re-homed either through a rescue or a friend. While he could have been re-homed in the area, we know in the rescue world, he could be transported anywhere in the United States within days. So we need your help now more than ever!!! We are not sure exactly when this happened, but it must be after we had a confirmed sighting when he was on the roam in June. We are asking everyone, if you have received a Min Pin within the last 6 months to please take them to get scanned because you could have my sweet baby boy and not even know it is him!

I am completely and utterly in shock by what has happened. I never thought Maddox would trust anyone because he is so skittish & stubborn. And because of how he is I have always had so much anxiety thinking about my baby being out there all alone and in the elements. I am NOT angry and am SO happy he is safe! I am SO happy he is not outside in the elements and hasn’t been for a few months now. This is just very shocking and not at all what I expected BUT it is what I have prayed for!! I believe my prayers are being answered and even though we have a new obstacle, we are just one step closer to finding my little boy!!!

This isn’t a time to bash or threaten anyone and I know everyone probably has a million questions.. Trust me so do I…but due to the sensitivity of the situation we are only sharing what we can.. And the most important part is just getting Maddox home so it is time to kick our awareness campaign into high gear!! We believe no harm was meant by what has occurred and wherever he is now, they probably have no idea it is Maddox. Not everyone in the country is aware of Maddox so we need to get awareness out all over the country!! Because like I have always said he is the LOVE of my LIFE, my little SOUL MATE, and I just want my baby home! I will do anything to be together with him again! I love him beyond words! We have been together for 8 years non-stop and that is a BOND nothing can break! I am hoping & praying somehow some way we can get awareness nationwide about what has happened and someone will realize they have my baby. I have faith in God that this will happen and I will get the chance to have my sweet baby boy back in my arms! Here are more pics of him
http://bringmaddoxhome.com/Photos.html

We are offering a very handsome reward & will give someone a wonderful Christmas with the reward OR they could donate this reward to their favorite charity. And getting my sweet baby back would be a wonderful Christmas present for my family! It will be my Christmas miracle to have my baby back in my arms! We could have our own Christmas story.. I can see it now in the headlines.. “Maddox cutest Min Pin in world gets lost on Christmas Eve but then gives his family a miracle the next year by coming home!” ;)))))

Monday, November 18, 2013


"Our Family is a circle of strength & love, with every birth & union it grows. Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger."

Through this nightmare my family has grown and it has grown to include all of you.. So many of you have been with me since the very beginning.... since that first night I was so frantic and I had no idea what to do so I started posting all over FB asking everyone to pray for my baby when I was rushing back from Dallas to Oklahoma.. It is hard to believe that was a little over 10 months ago.. I can't even explain how difficult this entire year has been for me.. So many say I don't know how you hold on?!?! Well trust me I am holding on by a thread.. ='''(((

So many call me a scammer, they ask if this is a joke.. Trust me this is not a joke and I would never scam anyone.. I don't know who in the world would make up something so terrible?? I guess there are people out there that do lie and make up terrible things but not me.. That is the thing that has always got me in trouble.. My brutal honestly.. I never hide behind anything..My Mom always said you are too nice and too honest.. I guess she was right.. I don't understand why people think I am scamming?? How in the world could I make up my sweet baby Maddox??? How in the world could I make up my love for this sweet little boy?? Where would I get the HUNDREDS of photos of the two of us together?? Why in the world would anyone want to make up something that is so awful that tears flow constantly??? I have lost so much weight, I have been physically ill when I can't breathe and fall to the floor, I can't sleep, I have no appetite,.. I have lost friends that don't understand.. There have been so many days where I don't know how to go on.. My pain is real... My love and bond with my sweet baby Maddox is so real it hurts.. I have had so many say the meanest and most cruel things to me.. I don't' know why anyone would want to endure this pain or make something like this up?!?! Because trust me as if the pain of losing the love of your life isn't enough, there are some that like to kick you when you are down, stab you right in the heart.. Well I guess that is what makes me stronger because I guess after time you already in so much pain nothing else can hurt as bad as you hurt already.. You start to get numb..

So I guess every crisis does make you stronger and even though some days are unbearable and I feel physically nauseous by what is going on in my life.. I will NEVER EVER give up on my sweet baby boy.. I will fight to get him back!!! I will do it for Maddox and my family! I love this little boy so much that I can't even put it into words.. He is the love of my life.. My little soul mate.. He inspires me.. He makes me stronger.. So yes he is worth it! He is worth all the obstacles.. He is worth all the pain.. He is worth whatever life throws at me!

I Love you Maddox and wherever you are, Mommy will always look for you and Mommy will never give up on you!! I can't wait to take you back to our favorite place.. the beach! I can't wait to give you hugs & kisses & never let you go! Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc

Sunday, November 17, 2013



I know I told you all I took a class with Missing Pet Partnership this summer.. I learned so much and started sharing some of it and then realized I hadn't shared everything I learned and today wanted to share this..

For some reason the past few days lots have been asking me, "Do you think someone has Maddox?" I have always said No because I know him. I know how skittish he is BUT then there is a huge part of me that has been hoping & praying he will reach out to someone to help him.. I hope & pray he will find someone that maybe looks like me that he trusts and let them help him.. I pray he is sleeping in a warm bed and not having to search for his own food. Especially with winter coming again, I don't want him to be out there in the cold... BUT I do also worry sometimes that someone will gain his trust and assume his fearful behavior is because he's been abused and that freaks me out...

If you read about lost dogs, you will read things like "Due to their cowering behavior, people assume lost dogs were abused, making them reluctant to give them back to the owner." Even if someone gained his trust, once they saw his behavior, I worry they won't care about this page, or how long I've looked and how much I've cried, they'll just assume I abused him and will refuse to say anything. In my class there was a story that someone had found a lost dog and they had a sign they drove by every single day but NEVER called because they thought the baby was abandoned or abused.. That scares me to death! Because all I want is my baby back!! I miss him more than anything in this world and not a day goes by that tears do not fall.. He is my heart, my soul, my everything and I am so lost without him! ='''(((

I just have to keep telling myself that if an animal lover took the time to gain his trust, if they see my posts and his website, they will know, no matter how he acts and no matter how beautiful and perfect he is, they will know his mommy & daddy want him back more than anything and will do anything to make it happen.

Below is a link to interesting info from MPP.. Please share!!

They have a campaign to "Think Lost, not Stray" because the biggest reason why missing pets are not reunited to their families is because people don't think Lost, they thing Stray which I admit I have been guilty of myself but being in my shoes now.. I always think LOST not STRAY because I know my baby is probably dirty, probably skinny, probably not looking like himself.. I just pray someone will take him to get scanned if they do find him and help him find his Mommy!

I know when he ran away on Christmas Eve, he was looking for me.. And I KNOW when he sees me again he will remember me.. We have that special bond that nothing will ever break.. When I came home from work every day, somehow he always knew my car, he knew my footsteps, or he just knew my smell but he always cried and jumped up and down and sprinted towards me.. I KNOW when he sees me agian that is what he will do so I just hope if someone finds him they give me that chance to prove our special bond.. ='''(((

http://www.missingpetpartnership.org/recovery-thinklost.php

Thursday, November 14, 2013


 
 
For whatever reason Carrie Underwood's songs all keep reminding me of my life and Maddox.. Maybe I should have been listening to the words of her songs all along.. She is from Oklahoma, she does have a Min Pin she loves as much as I love Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc..

for months, I admit I didn't listen to music, I didn't watch TV.. I have been in my own world and pretty much have just been staring in space.. I don't know but I drive home in silence, sit at home in silence, etc, etc.. But lately I have been listening to things again.. This song once again made me cry.. But it is true.. I need to let Jesus take the wheel... No matter what happens I will never give up on my baby boy.. I love him so much.. I miss him so much.. ='''-((((

Jesus, Take the Wheel
(James/Lindsey/Sampson)

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on

Ooh, Jesus take the wheel
Ooh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Ooh, take it, take it from me
Ooh ooh wah ah ooh ooh ooh

Tuesday, November 12, 2013




I wanted to share one of our most recent PR activities to spread awareness of Maddox.. We have some new Bring Maddox Home business cards!! I was thinking these would be perfect to keep spreading awareness with little involvement necessary.. I was thinking you can just keep them with you and every day life activities you can leave them places.. Here are the TOP 10 ways the Local team has been helping spread awareness of Maddox.. ;)) We still have plenty since I ordered 5,000 of them so if anyone in OKC area wants some to distribute please PM us and I will get you in touch with Jennifer who has them.

(1) At dinner, leave it with the check.. I was a waitress I kept all that stuff.
(2) At sonic leave it on the menu..
(3) At any other place if there is a bulletin board leave it there..
(4) Leave it with your hairstylist or seamstress or nail person, etc..
(5) Leave it with your Doctor or Vet
(6) If shopping at a retail store give it to the cashier that is checking you out
(7) Give it to your bank teller or lawyer or realtor or other business people
(8) While walking into the grocery store or Walmart slip it on a few cars..
(9) Give to any other people you come in contact with at a gas station, grocery store, fast food restaurant, etc, etc..
(10) Any other there creative ideas!

I am sure there are other ways to hand these out and I hope you will join me in doing this.. I hope you will continue to spread awareness about Maddox.. I know you all have your own lives and I know you can't put your life on hold for me & Maddox but thought this was a very easy way to help without having to put your life on hold and without having to spend your entire day away from your family.. I hate being so far away and wish I could move there but I can't but I will never give up on my baby boy.. ever!! He is too precious to me and he makes life worth living.. ='''(( xoxoxo

Thanks everyone for helping me out! It is much appreciated! Together we will bring my sweet baby boy home to Cali where he belongs!

Monday, November 11, 2013

HAPPY VETERANS DAY from Maddox & His Family!!



HAPPY VETERANS DAY from Maddox & his Family! We wanted to say THANK YOU to every VETERAN for the FREEDOM & for everything you do for us!! This world is a better place because of you!!!!!

Maddox's Great Grandpa on his Daddy's side and his Mommy's side were both Veterans that fought in one of the World Wars.. He never got to meet his Great Grandpa on his Mommy's side but he did meet his Great Grandpa on his Daddy's side and he fell in love with Maddox.. Once Christmas we went to Arkansas to visit him and the rest of the family went to Memphis but not Maddox's Grandpa.. He volunteered to stay home and watch Maddox.. Apparently they had the best day ever! Now both his Grandpa's are in Heaven and I know they are watching over my sweet baby boy & keeping him safe until God gets him back to his Mommy..

We are honored to have such amazing people in our family that helped give us our freedom! Happy Veterans Day to all!


Help Wanted!


Please share! We need all the help we can get to help bring Maddox home! Its clearly going to take an army! ='''-((((

Some of the things we need help with include: FB sharing, Making sure Maddox is on all lost pet websites, Putting up posters/flyers near sightings, checking petfinder daily, checking local newspapers daily, Help with compiling list of businesses to fax Flyers to, MakING sure flyers are up at Petco/Petsmarts/Other Local Pet Stores, Help with Fundraising, Help with Other ideas to keep spreading awareness, and of course Prayers Prayers & more Prayers!

Sunday, November 10, 2013



I received this awhile ago and comment said "Maddox is this you?"... I swear this is maddox... I swear he is right under our noses and is so smart & stubborn that he just watches people from the bushes... We have a possible lead of a min pin that was spotted and apparently several were chasing him but we got no calls so we have no idea if it was maddox or not... We have had some local team maddox put flyers in the area... Ironically I found Bliss in a cemetery so maybe it is a sign? All the unknowns are killing me but I will never stop believing & hoping & praying for my happy day when my sweet baby boy is back in my arms! ="""((((

Friday, November 8, 2013



In traffic this evening and this song came on radio... Made me start sobbing & since I have no words lately will let Carrie Underwood speak for me to Maddox..

"See You Again"

Ohh Ohh Ohh
Said goodbye, turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun,
Slipped away
But I wont cry
Cause I know I'll never be lonely
For you are the stars to me,
You are the light I follow
I will See you again, oh
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, oh
Till I see you again
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
I can hear those echoe's in the wind at night
Calling me back in time
Back to you
In a place far away
Where the water meets the sky
The thought of it makes me smile
You are my tomorrow
I will See you again, oh
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, oh
Till I see you again
Sometimes I feel my heart is breaking
But I stay strong and I hold on cause I know
I will see you again, ohhh
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, yeah yeah
I will See you again, ohhh
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me,
Till I see you again
Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh
Till I see you again,
Ohh Ohh Ohh Ohh
Till I see you again,
Ohh
Till I see you again
Said goodbye turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/carrieunderwood/seeyouagain.html

Thursday, November 7, 2013



I was sent this link last night to a story about 2 lost babies that were re-united with their families recently.. One was after a year and one was after 2 years! It brought so many tears... Lots of happy tears!!! I will never give up on my Maddox!!! Can't wait until this is me & my sweet baby boy whom I love to the moon & back a million times & would do anything just to have him back in my arms!!

Link to story.. http://www.examiner.com/article/two-lost-dogs-reunited-with-stunned-guardians-after-almost-all-hope-was-lost

I was looking for a picture to post and I saw this one and of course it made me cry.. I saw in this picture myself being SO happy & even have a glow on my face.. I admit that glow is not there today.. =''((( I'm so happy in this picture because I have Maddox in my arms! A picture says a thousand words..

He brightens even the darkest days.. He is my inspiration, my motivation, he makes me feel complete, he is my heart, my soul... ='''(((( I saw this quote and of course thought of my sweet little baby boy Maddox so thought I would share..

"If you hide, I'll seek for you.. If you're lost, I'll search for you. If you leave, I'll wait for you. If they try to take you away from me, I'll fight for you. Because I never want to lose someone I love. I love you so much it hurts not having you by my side with each passing day; I miss you, I need you, I want you."

Tuesday, November 5, 2013


 
 
I don't post alot of photos with Maddox & his Daddy but he LOVES his Daddy! You know when they say some fur babies look like their owners.. Well Maddox & his Daddy always made similar faces.. They both make me laugh.. Brandon and I have raised Maddox together since he was just a baby.. Even though I am the voice behind this page I assure you Brandon misses his "Little Buddy" just as much as I miss my Sweet Baby boy... ='''(((( I look at these pictures and I used to laugh but now I just cry but only because I miss that sweet face so much!! And I miss our family being together.. I miss the love of my life! I swear I have cried an ocean at this point and I don't know where the tears come from... I miss Maddox more than anything in this world.. He is the light of my life and my heart breaks more and more each day he is not with me.... I don't know why it is taking so long to find him.. I never imagined it would take this long.. People tell me every day to "never give up" and I promise you all.. You do not ever have to worry about me giving up on my little baby boy because giving up is not an option when it comes to my Maddox!! He is out there somewhere!! I just know it! It is like trying to find a needle in a haystack but he is out there and I will always keep searching and believing and will never give up on him!! No matter how long it takes!!!

Some of you know this and some don't but Maddox's Daddy is a comedian and he dreamed of being a Comedian since he was about 2 years old.. I say that because he has never given up on his dreams and neither of us will ever give up on our sweet baby boy either and we will never give up on this nightmare ending and turning into a miracle!!!

Brandon has good news and so wanted to share.. His newest album "A Useless Grown Man" dropped on iTunes today! He is hilarious and he does make me laugh even through the tears so if you like comedy and need to laugh like I do please check it out! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/a-useless-grown-man/id735854774?ls=1

I am so proud of him!! I know Maddox is proud of his Daddy too! We just need to all be together so we can celebrate TOGETHER!!! And so Maddox & His Daddy can make silly faces TOGETHER!!! Please come home Maddox so we can be a family AGAIN! We LOVE you sweet baby boy!! ='''((((

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/a-useless-grown-man/id735854774?ls=1

Monday, November 4, 2013

Karma


 
Team Maddox is still working on keeping up awareness. I want to thank everyone here who reads, shares, helps by looking at every min pin they see ...and the comments! The beautiful, positive comments! For everything, thank you!! Eyes and awareness! Thank you!

We were mentioned on the news, recently. I'll take every mention Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc can get, but of course, it brought some negative comments. It sometimes gets hard with the private messages or texts I get saying Maddox is a hoax and I'm just scamming people for money. But I know they're just unhappy, negative people who like to make others unhappy. I’d like to say I don't let it bother me at all, but to be honest, they do bring me down. But, not for long. On any given day, I can see here just how many people understand why I’m not giving up. =)))

Friday, November 1, 2013


No new calls about Maddox... ='''((( I'm sad but at least it is Friday... Please keep praying for my sweet baby! Maddox we love you and miss you so very much.. Please home come to Mommy & Daddy!! Our hearts are broken without you.. ='''(((( #bringmaddoxhome #lostdog #okc #oklahoma #minpin #minipin #minpinlove #minipinscher #minpinstagram #tgif #loveofmylife

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!!


 
 
Maddox says Happy Halloween!!!

Enjoy your evening but please Keep your babies safe! And please keep praying for my sweet baby Maddox!!! ='''(((( I'm hoping & praying he comes out of hiding to see what is going on tonight & lets someone see him so they will call us..

Please share the following 10 easy tips to keep your furry babies safe!!!

1. Trick-or-treat candies are not for pets.
2. Don't leave pets out in the yard on Halloween.
3. Keep pets confined and away from the door.
4. Keep your outdoor cats inside several days before and several days after Halloween.
5. Keep Halloween plants such as pumpkins and corn out of reach.
6. Don't keep lit pumpkins around pets.
7. Keep wires and electric light cords out of reach.
8. Don't dress your pet in a costume unless you know they'll love it.
9. Try on pet costumes before the big night.
10. IDs, please!

http://www.petmd.com/dog/seasonal/evr_multi_halloween_safety_tips

Wednesday, October 30, 2013


Good news we were mentioned in the News again!! Thanks to Karin for mentioning Maddox.. Pray this helps spread awareness so we can get a sighting! http://www.news9.com/story/23823617/experts-track-down-missing-okc-rescue-dog

Also Maddox wanted to share some Tips to keep your babies safe this Halloween!! We are sharing this picture because surprisingly I never dressed Maddox up for Halloween.. And Janet told me this one made her LOL.. He is giving me quite the look.. He is like Mommy stop already... This is getting ridiculous.. Imagine what he would do if I put some of those ridiculous shark costumes or others on him.. haha I never dressed him up not because I didn't want to but as you all have probably figured out he is very stubborn and would let me know if he did not like something...

He had one camo hoodie he loved that he wore when we visited family during holidays where it is cold but other than that he hated clothes so instead he had a million collars..;)) Once I put a Oklahoma Jersey on him and lets just say he was not happy and was really mean to my family who was watching him while we were at the game.. Apparently he sat there like he couldn't move and then when they tried to help him he sprinted around the house.. He even jumped through the fireplace, somehow managed to get one leg half in & half out of the jersey and I think it ended up that he finally got it off himself.. I am telling you he has some super powers!!! Thinking of stuff like that makes me realize more & more how tough & smart he is and how strong willed he is.. I know he is out there.. I just want to find him!!! =''(( But until then I know he wants to keep saving others! So please share!

Halloween can be a festive and fun time for children and families. But for pets? Let's face it, it can be a downright nightmare. Forgo the stress and dangers this year by following these 10 easy tips to keep your babies safe..

1. Trick-or-treat candies are not for pets.
2. Don't leave pets out in the yard on Halloween.
3. Keep pets confined and away from the door.
4. Keep your outdoor cats inside several days before and several days after Halloween.
5. Keep Halloween plants such as pumpkins and corn out of reach.
6. Don't keep lit pumpkins around pets.
7. Keep wires and electric light cords out of reach.
8. Don't dress your pet in a costume unless you know they'll love it.
9. Try on pet costumes before the big night.
10. IDs, please!

http://www.petmd.com/dog/seasonal/evr_multi_halloween_safety_tips
http://www.petinsurance.com/healthzone/pet-articles/pet-health/5-Ways-to-Keep-Pets-Safe-on-Halloween.aspx

Tuesday, October 29, 2013



 
 
Unfortunately this journey has lasted way longer than I ever imagined.. I can't even believe it is almost November & we are creeping into Maddox being missing for a year in just a couple months... This year has been beyond difficult for me.. It honestly is quite blurry.. I don't know where the entire year even went.. I have struggled & admit have cried an ocean of tears.. I dont' think there has been a day that tears have not fallen down my face.. ='''((( Losing my sweet baby Maddox... the love of my life in a strange city and not being able to find him is something I can't even begin to describe and there are no words to describe it.

This journey has been crazy.. There have been so many opinions, so many things said about me both good & bad, so many that don't get it & some that do understand a little... A quote was sent to me that says "Don't Expect Everyone to Understand your Journey. Especially if they have never walked in your path." This says it all... I would never wish what I have had to deal with this year on anyone... Like I said I can't even find the words to describe the pain, the helplessness, the fear, ...the sadness, the anger.... But I've realized it's okay that some do not understand because there is no way for anyone to truly understand unless they have been in my same situation and I'm glad my friends & family & people that I love very much do not have to deal with what I'm dealing with...Maddox is my baby boy, my heart, my soul, my everything! We have this special connection that is just between us & there is no possible way for anyone to understand....BUT thank for everyone that had continues to ride this journey with me...

I get asked questions alot like is he chipped, is he neutered, what all have you done to find him, etc, etc... I know it is difficult to see the entire story on Facebook so I decided to put together a quick Timeline and FAQ's. https://www.facebook.com/notes/maddox-miniature-pinscher-lost-in-okc/timeline-faqs/313221032149155

I hope that this answers all the questions and shows in a quick snapshot of what we have done.. So you can see when we say we have done it all we are not exaggerating.. I wish I knew what else do to because I would do it! :((( But all I know to do now is keep spreading awareness any way we can and to keep praying and believing!

You can also see all my Blogs, all the babies we have saved, news stories, pictures, photos, etc on our website at www.BringMaddoxHome.com

Feel free to share!

Monday, October 28, 2013


I'm not sure if you have trick or treaters, but if you do, we had an idea. If you can, print this flyer and drop it in kids' bags when you give out candy. After the flyer is cut in half, it won't be very big. Many times, parents are close, so you can just hand them one. (usually you can right click on it and save or on an iPad/mobile device, hold your finger on it and you should get an option to save).

We made them black & white, in case you don't have much color ink in your printer or if you'd rather copy on a copier. Or, you can use color paper, if you have it.

Thanks so much for everything!! =))) Oh, and if you want a larger one for your door (8 1/2 x 11) just message this page -Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc- and I'll message it to you. =)))

Sharing and liking is GREAT, too!!

Sunday, October 27, 2013



This was an extremely rough week... Whole year has been a crazy roller coaster ride and this week was a bad part of the ride.. My heart was shattered again with having a huge lead for Maddox and then finding out it wasn't him. Also not being in OKC when I was supposed to be there has been killing me.. ='''(((

This photo was sent to me today and it brought tears.. It is so beautiful so I had to share.. Thank you Carol Dillenberger... She sent to me because she came across the picture & immediately thought of me and sweet baby Maddox. I know that St. Francis is keeping him safe until he finds me..

The other day when I said something about all the sweet messages.. These are the things that help keep me going.. We are looking for more volunteers to help on the ground some of the things that help the most is prayers and positive thoughts & continued support.. I feel like if we all keep the faith and keep positive thoughts that is what will Bring Maddox Home. So Thank you everyone around the country for everything!!! Thank you for all you do for me & Maddox. Thank you for always sharing Maddox's story and keeping an eye out for my sweet baby Maddox! Awareness is the key...everyone is the key! =)))

BTW I am bad at asking for help but lots ask me daily what they can do.. Besides sharing & spreading awareness, we are also doing a small auction for Maddox to help raise funds for flyers, postcards, etc to keep awareness out there.. We are hoping to do a bigger auction within the next few months also but for now we are starting small. So please share! And if you don't want the item you can donate directly to the Maddox fund on our website.. www.bringmaddoxhome.com/Donations.html

Link to auction is below..
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=315639391907319&set=pb.190920517712541.-2207520000.1382896450.&type=3&theater

Thursday, October 24, 2013



As you can see Maddox & I took lots of hikes together. This day was in Malibu.. Exclude my crazy hair but it was really windy up there! I love this little guy so much.. Looking at these photos just hurts my heart.. ='''((((

I did get a call today from someone that just saw our story about Maddox and he had bought a Min PIn from soemoen who found one several months ago.. I am sad to report not Maddox but it gave me so much hope again.. It shows me that we are still getting the word out and one of these calls it will be my sweet baby Maddox..

I received a message today and it said "I know your love for Maddox is unconditional. When it seems darkest, remember Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we can not see." Ironically someone gave me a card that has this scripture on it last year and it hangs on my wall at work.. ;))

Also one of my favorite quotes is one I send to friends & family all the time during difficult times in their life.. I sometimes need to send these things to myself.. "If God Brings you to It, He Will Bring you through it."

I will keep praying and keep believing and have faith that God will hear our prayers.. Maddox please stop being so stubborn and make an appearance so we can bring you home to California where it is much warmer than it is there in Oklahoma! And we can go back to our peaceful place.. the Beach AND all our favorite places like Runyon or Malibu or the Grove... OR we can just stay home and play ball ALL day long!

#LOSTDOG #OKC #OKLAHOMA #MINPIN #MINPINLOVE #MINIPIN #MINIPINSCHER #MINPINSTAGRAM #BRINGMADDOXHOME

Wednesday, October 23, 2013



Couple things..

First as you can see Maddox is now on Instagram.. I didn't realize it was posting on this page also but I was playing with hit last night. But his Instagram & Twitter account's are @BringMaddoxHome.

Second I have bad news.. As some of you know Karin TarQwyn has been working with us since the beginning. She has been to Oklahoma City to track Maddox about 5-6 times now. And she was in the area for another case and as a favor to us she decided to track the latest sighting.. I didn't even know she was in town until late last night nor did I know they were checking Maddox sightings or I would of said something.. I am beyond devastated because she checked the most recent sighting and it was not Maddox as they found no scent in the area of the sighting. I am lucky to have such amazing people always helping me behind the scenes in OKC and they didn't' want to tell me because they didn't want to upset me...

I hate that I told everyone about the sighting and now I have to break everyone's hearts... I was just really excited about this sighting and felt like it was really him.. ='''((( I'm devastated and had a meltdown last night and woke up crying if that tells you anything.. My heart just keeps getting broken over & over & over again and I hate it.. I was so happy Karin found that other baby but then I find myself saying why can't I have my happy ending? Why can't it be that easy for me to have a rare walk up find?? Why does the world seem to be against me and Maddox.. I can't stand it.. ='''((

This journey is physically and emotionally draining and I try to protect others so you don't have to go through what I am going through.. The pain is unbearable and I don't want others to have to be in pain like me.. And everyday I find myself hoping & praying I can give you some good news and it kills me when I can't.. So any little bit of good news I do want to share but sorry for getting your hopes up and then shattering

Even through the ups & downs I will never lose hope or faith.. So many have messaged me that they feel strongly Maddox is out there. I feel strongly he is out there.. I was praying the other night after someone sent me a candle they lit for Maddox and I saw him and he was under a tree and he was smiling.. I know God was telling me he is safe and okay..

So we all have to keep praying and keep believing and keep hoping.. No matter what I will not give up.. One of these times it will be Maddox and we will get our Happy Ending! Thanks everyone for riding this crazy emotional roller coaster ride with me.. I don't know where he is now and that is killing me BUT that just menas we need to spread the word more! We need to reach those people in their own world.. We have to let the world know Maddox is missing ahd he is LOVED and his family wants him back and WILL Do whatever it takes to Bring him home!!!

#LOSTDOG #OKC #OKLAHOMA #MINPIN #MINPINLOVE #MINIPIN #MINIPINSCHER #MINPINSTAGRAM #BRINGMADDOXHOME

Tuesday, October 22, 2013



SHARE SHARE SHARE!! I already posted a similar poster to share on FB but we realized it did not have the City, State and to share all over the FB world they might need to know where Maddox is lost! So please share!

Don't know how much everyone knows but Maddox went missing in Oklahoma City, we were visiting.. Well for the first 4 months or so I did nothing but search for Maddox 24/7 and not exaggerating.. I slept only a few hours.. Woke up before sunrise a lot and got up and would do anything & everything I could think of to find my baby.. I had no helpers, I know hardly anyone in Oklahoma so I did everything myself.. I spent the days answering calls, checking sightings, posting signs, faxing flyers to vets, putting up flyers at local convenience stores, dry cleaners, wherever.. I posted on this FB page twice a day. When I did not have signs to post or know where to go I would just drive around.. I would walk creeks by myself.. I would sit places and pray and cry.. I was hoping me sitting places, he would hear me or smell me and come out of hiding.. I had billboards made, we were in the News a few times, we were in the newspaper, we did robo-calling a couple times, we sent out post-cards, etc.. And then on the weekends I spent hours on end sharing all over the FB world.. I have a list of hundreds of rescue pages, lost & found pages, national dog pages, Min Pin groups, etc, etc that just shared over & over & over.. that was before FB decided to start blocking you... We had Karin TarQwyn & Cade & the rest of her team come track Maddox about 5 times and that is how we know he is still roaming! :(( The list goes on & on & on...

I admit I have been so frustrated by this whole process.. I get really down and find myself spinning my wheels.. I will never give up or lose hope and will do anything to bring him home.. It sucks though because at this point I don't know what else to do that hasn't already been done but I do know we have to keep awareness up and so everyone in the world knows he is still missing and we are still looking and we will never give up! And I am always looking to new ideas to spread awareness and even just recently added Maddox to instagram! Still trying to figure it out but his account is "Bring Maddox Home". We are also on Twitter but I am also a little Twitter dumb.. I do tweet since it links from this FB page but think I need to do the hashtag thing to get followers.. As you can see willing to do whatever it takes to spread the word about my little sweet baby boy!

Now I am unfortunately not in Oklahoma since my job and rest of my family is in California but still do everything I possibly can from here but I can't do it alone.. I am bad at asking for help but I know sometimes you have to ask.. So if ANYONE wants to help us please let me know! The hotline is coming back to me in Cali and I need helpers to check sightings, need people to help with signs, need people to help with feeding stations, and anything else that I can't do since now physically there.. If you are local to the area and want to help, please send me a private message and I will add you to our local private group..

For those not in the local area we have our Team Maddox PR page that we also need helpers with spreading awareness.. This group you can help us all over the country.. Please join if interested! https://www.facebook.com/groups/TeamMaddoxPR/?fref=ts

And the most important thing is we all have to keep praying and believing in him! Come on Maddox, come out and let someone help you come home to your Mommy & Daddy!! We love you so much & lots of people want to meet you & have presents for you!!! I know how much you love new toys & presents!!! Come on sweet baby boy! Give us another Sighting! Stay where you are and we will come find you.. I promise Mommy will never give up on you!

Monday, October 21, 2013



One of my favorite things to do is take my sweet baby Maddox on hikes up at Runyon Canyon.. He would be so excited and happy and I honestly just loved spending the day with him.. I can't get enough of him.. I can't get enough of his cute little face.. I love snuggling with him and that is why I took him EVERYWHERE probably why I have taken thousands of pictures of him. And if you saw my cubicle and my house.. You would know. I have photos of him everywhere.. Even leaving him to go to work, I missed him.. And that's probably why I have about 15 photos of him just at my desk and one is giant size photo of him smiling at the beach that is blown up bigger than he is.. His adorable face has always been with me and I would be so excited to go home just to see him.. I would get him and he would start crying and barking when I drove up.. it is like he knew my car.. And then as I walked up to the building I could hear him... I think he knew my footsteps.. And Brandon would open our front door because we live in an apartment building and he would come flying down the stairs to greet me.. It was like I had been gone for days but that is how he greeted me every single day even if I was only gone for a few hours..

I can't even explain this special bond we have.. I miss him so much... I look at these pictures of the two of us and tears just start flowing.. Oh how I want to squeeze him and hold him in my arms again and never let him go.. Oh how I want to give him so many kisses.. And I also find myself so lost at home because I miss him bringing me the ball non-stop over & over & over again.. Maddox is one of a kind.. He is so special.. I love him to infinity and back a million times.. He the love of my life.. Oh Lord please help me find him.. Please help bring him home..

Dear Lord,
We ask you to help us find Maddox
our dear sweet baby boy who is still lost.
We know that you placed animals on the earth
for many reasons, including companionship for man.
We therefore ask you to help us find our lost companion,
and pray that You will keep him safe
and protect him from harm until he is found.
We join our prayers with St. Francis,
St. Anthony of Padua, and all the saints,
and pray in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Sunday, October 20, 2013



PLEASE SHARE!!! SHARING SAVES LIVES!

We need to keep awareness up so everyone knows he is still missing and we are still looking so please share this flyer!

We got a possible good sighting late last night.. The Maddox hotline comes to me now in Cali and I received the call at 10ish my time so that is midnight central time.. I felt so helpless not being able to jump in my car to go search for him & I knew most of team Maddox was asleep... It was dark and someone saw him in the headlights of her truck.. She opened her car door and tried get a picture and tried to get him to come to her but instead he turned around and took off quickly.. This is typical of most Maddox sighting calls. They can't get a picture because he is too quick.. Only good thing about that is that shows me he is still okay and he is not hurt.. We also had a call earlier this week in the same vicinity! If this is indeed him he has circled back closer to where he went missing..

Team Maddox in OKC is awesome and by the time I woke up a few were already in the area searching and putting up flyers. Thanks so much to Donna, Betsy, & Jennifer for being so on top of this when you woke up!! I appreciate so many being there for my sweet baby boy... I hate being so far away.. It kills me.. ='''(((

But please keep praying.. We need to get a confirmed sighting (aka picture) and then we can proceed with setting up a trap.. This is what we have been hoping & praying for for months now.. All we need is a picture of him so we know it is indeed him and then we have someone already that has promised they would help us lure & trap him.. We just can't try to trap him until we know exactly where he is... He keeps roaming! So please everyone share & pray he is finally slowing down and staying the same area!

We LOVE you Maddox! Please come home!!

Saturday, October 19, 2013



As most of you realized by now this is Jackie.. Maddox's Mommy.. While he is away I am his voice but today I am going to let someone else do the post.. Her name is Cloe.. She sent Maddox this beautiful message and I couldn't of said it any better myself.. Thanks Cloe.. I'm beyond thankful you are walking and your story is so inspirational and you are so special and strong like Maddox. And your Mommy is inspirational and alot like me in that I will never give up on my little baby boy!

Hi
My name is Cloe and I'm from Oklahoma I am 4 yrs old and I'm praying for ur safe return. I hope that where ever you are your safe, happy and loved. But if your out all alone on the streets I hope you have food, shelter and that your ok. Please don't be afraid, if you hear people chilling your name go to them, Those people are trying to bring you home to your mommy. You have been gone to long and she misses you and has not given up on you. I would be so sad and lost if I wasn't home with my mommy she loves me to death. If it wasn't for her and her love, support, faith in me. I would not be walking today. I was paralyzed 1 year ago Dr told me I would never walk again without surgery, my mom could not afford that. I was in never any pain at all. I looked into my mommy eyes and she saw in me the love and potential that I had and she knew I was asking her not to give up on me. To believe and together we achieved this long struggle, she took me to 3 Drs weekly, hydrotherapy, medications. Prayers and I am up and walking we proved a point because others told her to put me down. She refused!! She was even saving up for a wheel chair. You see that bond will never break us so if you have that bond with your mommy please follow your heart get back to her where you belong she loves you and I love you to.
Love Cloe

Friday, October 18, 2013


Smile it is Friday!!! =0)))

Hopefully everyone will be celebrating National Lost Pet Day this weekend for Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc to spread awareness that he is still missing and we are still looking and we will never give up!!!

There are so many lost doggies all over the country.. Having a lost fur baby is financially, emotionally, and physically draining on us... Some have been lost several months and some have been gone over a year. There are so many of us actively searching for our babies. These babies can be ANYWHERE, so it doesn't' matter where you live or where the fur baby went missing. Your help for JUST ONE DAY would help us all tremendously! I am sad I am not able to make it back to Oklahoma this weekend but I can still do lots of stuff to help bring my little baby boy home.. Just like everyone else all over the country can do as well...https://www.facebook.com/NationalFindALostPetDay

Suggestions on what you can do are (even if not Local):
1) Share on FB pages and groups and your personal page or friends pages.. I always say "Sharing saves lives!"
2) Fax flyers to vets, shelters, businesses, etc..
3) Post on Craigslist in both categories of Lost & Found and Pets. I have been trying to post in surrounding states so even if you are not in OK if you do this in our state, it would help spread the word more about Maddox!

Suggestions for those Local:
1) Print of fliers and hang in your neighborhood, vets, businesses, dog parks, etc..
2) Rescue Adoption events: Take fliers and hand them out.
3) Dress up your car...

Suggestions for anyone!
1) Be creative!
2) If you are homebound and cannot get out, PRAY several times a day and PRAY hard for the pet(s) of your choosing that they find their way home.

"Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason."

Wednesday, October 16, 2013




I have some really bad news.. I am going to have to reschedule my trip back to OKC and will not be able to come this week.. I hate this so much.. I have been really upset and wish life didn't throw so many curve balls at me lately.. ='''((

On a positive note, I will be back and hopefully when I come back I will be able to stay even longer than I originally planned this week.. I hope when I do go back we are hot on his trail and I am going to sit with the trap OR I hope it is just to go pick him up and finally bring him home.. I've followed my heart during this journey and I will continue to follow my heart.. My heart says the timing is not right and there will be a better time for me to go back to Oklahoma... As much as I hate it.. I have to be patient and I know god has a plan..

I want you to know how much I appreciate all your love and support and I wanted to desperately to give everyone in OKC BIG HUGS and just see you and meet those of you I have never met.. I love you all so much..

I hope you will continue to ride this journey with me because I couldn't' do it without you... And if we all stick together we will find him! I don't' know why it is taking so long to find my baby.. I know he is out there somewhere..Just very stubborn.. The other day I was freaking out.. I do that a lot but I said "what if Maddox is hurt, what if, what if..." And Brandon said "Jackie you have this little girl Bliss that survived out there on her own.. If she can do it Maddox can do it." Maddox is way more tough and strong and way faster than this little girl. She is kind of clumsy.. So we all have to keep the faith and I know my Maddox is a survivor.. We all have to never lose hope and keep praying..

I will keep you posted of my plans.. I will be back in next couple of months for sure.. I hate this so much.. And am writing this with tears falling.. I have cried an ocean at this point and you would think there would be no tears left but they keep coming.. Know I will do anything for Maddox and I love him more than anything in this world...

"Doing what you love means you listen to your intuition, you take actions driven by what you love, you follow your passions and you express your unique gifts and talents to the world without fear. Being love is about seeing the world, others and everything in your life through the eyes of love – no judgement, no criticism, no ego. Both require you to move from living in your head to instead live in your heart."

'Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."Philippians 4:6-7

Tuesday, October 15, 2013


Please share!! This is the Maddox lookalike we saved from the Oklahoma City shelter within hours of him getting PTS. He is safe but we found out he is heart-worm positive and needs treatment so he will feel better.. ='''(( Please help this rescue and donate! They are the same rescue that helped us with our miracle baby Jett.. The baby with 3 broken legs. Both babies need help as Jett is having surgery again this week.. Please donate! Every little bit helps!!! Dogs as Family is a 501(c)3 and is am amazing rescue! They are not a Min PIn rescue but yet have saved several on behalf of Maddox! I will be forever grateful to them! Both Jett and Batman look so much like my sweet baby Maddox that they bring tears to my eyes.. Both these precious boys have to be okay! So please pray for them both and donate!! I know Maddox would want these precious boys to be okay!! xoxo Jackie & Maddox
There is a Donate link on their FB page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dogs-As-Family-Inc/149817121734669 (Click on Picture to get to their page)
Or you can donate on their website at http://www.dogsasfamily.com/
Or by mail at:
Dogs As Family
P.O. Box 13457
Oklahoma City, OK 73113


Two years ago today was one of the happiest days of my life.. My wedding day in paradise!
I admit though that was a difficult period in my life because a year before I lost my best friend...the one person in my life that was always there for me no matter what.. My Mom..
She left us very sudden & very unexpected at only 57 years young. My wedding day was one I always dreamed of but only with her there... When we started planning out wedding.. I had 2 conditions.. 1) It had to be near the water and 2) Maddox had to be there.. Those were my conditions because after grieving for months the first time I felt peace was one day Maddox and I went to the beach all by ourselves in the middle of the week.. I can't explain it but this wave of peace surrounded me and Maddox and I had the best day ever!! We laughed, we played ball, I think that is the day we even saw a seal on the beach.. After that day I knew my Mom was still there... I felt her so much that day... So the one thing I learned while grieving the loss of my Mom was to find that peaceful place & never let it go...and that's what I did.. Any holiday, birthday, any rough day we went to the beach...
Well now I have no peaceful place.. I can't go to the Beach without Maddox.. =""((( I know he is out there & on my wedding day even though he did not get to go because Hawaii had weird quarantine laws and I did not want to risk him being quarantined so he stayed in Cali with out good friends...And one of the best parts of my day was getting this picture... I love my baby so much and this smile showed me he was so happy for his Mommy & Daddy... This smile is what kills me today because I miss it so much.., he has the perfect smile with the cutest dimples that melts my heart.... I love this little guy so much and we have this bond that I can't even explain... I miss him & feel so lost & empty without him & I do want to be happy but I can't be happy when he isn't with me.. =""((((
I hope & pray I can find my peaceful place again but I don't know how since Maddox was the key to that place.. His smile showed me how to enjoy life again, his kisses showed me I was loved & I would be okay, his silliness showed me how to laugh again...
Maddox please come home! Mommy & Daddy & your two sisters love you & are waiting for you! We LOVE You! And as this pics says we wish you were here too!:((((

Monday, October 14, 2013



You may be aware of the recent story of Roo. A Schnauzer missing for 5 years. He was found by his family because they were still searching and came across him on a local lost and found webpage. That's why I have to keep up awareness. I know I mentioned a few days ago about being accused of just wanting attention ... I don't want attention, I want Maddox to have attention. Someone could be working to build his trust and have no clue he's lost. He may run into someone's yard or garage and find himself trapped. What I want ... what I need is everyone possible to know about "that min pin that was lost in Oklahoma City."

One thing that worries me...well, a lot of things worry me, but one big thing is if someone finds him, they'll think he was abandoned. Unloved. I'm sure he doesn't smell very nice and I'm sure he doesn't look like he's been cared for by a loving person ...not now. ="'((( Also, a dog that's been on his own and in survival mode is easily startled and hand shy. They act like an abused dog would act. Most people who find a dog like this would vow to never let the monster that did this to them come near them again. But I'm not a monster...I didn't do this to him...I never wanted this for him. (And I know you know this) But that's not what we think when we find a thin, dirty, smelly dog that looks like he hasn't been loved in ages. It's not what I'd think. I would assume he escaped a monster. ='"((( So, I just need people to know I lost my Maddox. That way, if someone finds a min pin or sees a lost one, they will say, "Is that Maddox Miniature Pinscher Lost in Okc" and if they don't remember that, I want his posts to be current on fb and everywhere. That way, when they google a lost male Min Pin, they see him everywhere. If enough people know, they might hear about that neighbor of a friend who saw or found a sad looking min pin and they'll say "Hey, is it that one lost last Christmas from Oklahoma City?" ...my sweet baby Maddox?

Saturday, October 12, 2013




Well this week has been so up and down up and down.. More than normal.. We received calls but none were Maddox.. I love that so many are still looking but then I keep wondering where all these babies are coming from and it hurts my heart there are so many out there being found and so many at shelters to be saved..

Good news is Team Maddox is amazing and several people have stepped up recently to help save some babies from the shelter.. I think I told you but we saved a Mommy & her 2 little baby boys.. Then we saved a Maddox lookalike. And then we saved a little baby boy.. only 2 months old.. All are doing great! I am so happy that Team Maddox stepped up to help save these babies! I want so desperately to start my own rescue.. I hope one day that dream will come true.. It would be much easier to be able to save these babies myself vs begging others to help me save them.. But those that have helped me.. I want you to know how truly thankful I am to have met so many people that are like me and love these babies and I feel together we are making a difference..

I don't know why but I can't stop crying.. guess it is because so much sad news this week... With Adrien Peterson's son. I don't know him but that little baby boy was only 2 years old. So heart-breaking..And then sweet Rosie.. Janet said this last night that she always tells Brick to "Be Like Rosie".. She said "Rosie is so happy about everything, everyone, everyplace"...

I admit I wish I could "Be Like Rosie".. But I can't be happy.. I miss the love of my life SO MUCH! I feel as if I have lost friends that don't get my search for Maddox or perhaps I have pushed them away.. I know I have been so distant but I hope all my friends that I have known forever & those I just met know that I love you all.. I am just having such a rough year.. I wish I was okay and like Rosie but don't know if I will ever be okay.. My heart hurts so bad & feel all alone & some days don't know how to go on but I will push on and keep moving forward for Maddox.. For Brandon.. And for my two new baby girls..

In my missing pet partnership class it said that losing a pet people deal with 2 different types of grieve.. "ambiguous grief" (grief with no closure) and "disenfranchised grief" (socially unacceptable grief) and the level of HAB (Human Animal Bond) influences the level of grief.. I guess that is why mine is off the charts.. Maddox was my soul mate, the love of my life, he was with me every second of every day for the past 8 years so I guess what I am feeling is normal.. I just want to find him to make all this go away! =''(((

Please keep praying for Maddox.. I pray he is okay.. I pray he is not hurt. I pray he will come back to me.. I pray he knows his Mommy is still looking for him.. I pray he knows how much I love him.. I get stories every single day of babies found months or years later so I keep thinking why can't that be me and I pray someday soon it will be me & Maddox & I will be together again! ='''(((