Today trying to figure out what to say.. I hate when I have no news.. Sometimes Maddox throws me a bone when I have nothing but today I really have nothing.. We were so excited and thought we knew where he was but not I don't' know if he moved and got spooked or what happened.. We thought he had a friend he was hanging with... I can't even describe how broken hearted I am.. I have been getting involved in the rescue world and that hurts my heart too.. So many babies to be saved an not enough fosters and rescues have no room...
I keep trying to help save these babies by networking and now fostering and I can't decide if it makes me feel better o worse.. My little foster Sylvia left and I really do still miss her.. I fell in love with her.. And now I have 2 new ones!! A little girl only 7 months old and a little boy only 1 year.. Both were dumped at the shelter. Both are so thin but so loving and friendly and happy to be free! Yes I might of lost my mind and Brandon might kill me BUT both would of not made it out of the shelter alive so and i could not let that happen.. One day I feel like I might not be cut out for this world because it makes me cry.. I hate how some people treat these innocent babies.. And then the next day I look at all the babies that need help and the ones that I have been able to help and i can't stop.. Especially Bliss & Sylvia & Jett & all other other babies in Oklahoma & Cali that are safe now..
All this being said.. Yesterday all I could think about is Maddox and how my life has been turned upside down and inside out.. how it is so different.. It used to be me and my little soul-mate.. the love of my life.. and now it is me and all different babies.. Sounds dumb but every little thing reminds me of Maddox.. I keep thinking I just want my life back to normal with Maddox here.. Until then I keep saving other babies.. Guess to try to make me feel better but it doesn't.. It just makes me miss him more and more.. Little foster boy likes to play ball and that made me sad.. And little girl holds her paw like Maddox... Everyone just reminds me of him.. I compare everyone to him.. ='''((( Don't' get me wrong.. I love my little foster babies too.. But I just miss my little boy.. And want him home.. I can hardly stand being away from him this long.. Tears just do not stop...
Please keep praying for Maddox and for all the other lost babies.. And for those at the shelters that need saved.. I wish I could change this world.. And I wonder why this happend to me? Why me? When all i do is love my little boy and all the other babies.. Why did this have to happen to me and my little boy.. Life was good before all this.. And now my heart is broken and breaks more and more each day... Not only because of Maddox but because of the things I keep seeing in this world.. Sorry for the long post that isn't so "uplifting".. I'm just being honest... I promise to try to post more happy news soon.. I can't want to post happy news..
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