Day 62 (second update):

Ever since I dropped Sam off I haven't been able to stop crying!! =''((( I never thought it was going to be this hard! I definitely fell madly in love with him in just a week.. I don't know if it is just that I miss my Maddox SO MUCH or what or maybe God was showing me I can love other babies.. I don't know.. But I am definitely going to Miss him!! I don't know how rescues or fosters do it.. I would want to keep all of them just like I want to keep all the babies Maddox has saved! BUT I know I did the right thing and know Sam deserves better than me.. He deserves a home that will give him their UN-divided attention and also he is a runner and got out from me twice and I know LA is not the place for someone like him! I pray he isn't mad at me and pray he understands and pray his new forever home does not let him get lost again!! I told him I loved him and he would find a better home than me.. I left him with the blanket he has been sleeping with and gave him some toys (even though he seems un-interested in toys). I wish someone I knew would take him so I could still see him and play with him!! Why is all this so hard??? My heart is SO broken.. I never thought my heart could break more but it hurts so bad.. ='''((((